One of the biggest areas of concern for people is me, most specifically how I will be spending my time. Why this concerns so many people, I don't know, but it does. Apparently my decision to leave my job here and not get a new one in Lux is quite scandalous. No woman does that, unless she has children. It's OK to be unemployed if you're raising kids, but not if you aren't. My question is, why? Our finances won't suffer from this decision. In fact, we will be bringing in more money than before. My choice to go about my business, doing what I want for eight hours, Monday through Friday doesn't affect anyone else. I do not understand why it is such a point of concern. Perhaps because it deviates from the norm? Or it violates feminist sensibilities? Or they can't picture themselves doing something like that? I don't know.
Obviously, I have been thinking about what I'm going to do in Lux since the moment we decided to take this assignment. Instead of looking forward to the move with uncertainty and trepidation, I'm actually thrilled to have the opportunity to have three years without a schedule, without the taskmaster. I have a pretty good idea of how I'm going to spend my time, actually. There's a whole new culture to learn about and new places to explore (Europe is at our fingertips!), a new way of life to embrace, I will have the time for art and gourmet cooking again, and there are plenty of places to ride my bike. I know I don't have to tell you how awesome it is to be able to ride your bike as far and as long as you want. It's a dream come true. So, yes, folks, I'm going to ride my bike. A lot. If you don't like that or understand it, I'm sorry, but that's not my problem.
People here aren't the only ones who have opinions. Mericans over in Lux have a lot to say too. We should get two cars, we need to live by the mall, we should live where all the other Mericans live, I need to get involved in the programs of the women's club, don't get to know the people in Lux- only hang out with the other Mericans, and don't bother learning French. In fact, we were advised to only speak English when someone begins to speak in French so the other person is made uncomfortable instead of us. You know, it's the American way. Make a person in their own country feel bad that they don't speak our language.
The more I hear these things, the more concerned I become about my fellow ex pats. Do they truly view this as just another rung in the corporate ladder and not as an opportunity to grow and become better people? They're just positively scandalized that we got a place near The Company instead of an hour away in the American neighborhood like the rest of them. They can't believe we don't want a second car. How will your wife get around? Well, how about that excellent train and bicycle path system. How will I get food or clothing? Ummm...by going to the market and stores around the corner not the mall and supermarket. Won't I want to be a part of the scrap booking and knitting classes at the club? No, knitting and making little scrapbooks aren't my thing, so unless they have a bicycle mechanics class, don't save a seat for me. How will I survive being alone in our house while my husband is at work all day? Well, I'm going to step out my front door and see what there is to see. I'm not going to lock myself in my house, of course. That's ridiculous. I don't need someone to hold my hand all day. I'm an adult.
When my husband brought home the news that we were moving, I couldn't have been more excited. It's an anthropologist's dream to move to another country and immerse ourselves in the culture. We want to learn the language, enjoy the foods, and meet the people. We want to experience what it is like to be a part of that culture. It's a beautiful opportunity, that I wouldn't dream of passing up. I understand most of the spouses who make this move don't have my anthropology background or my interests. I get that this a challenge. I understand that it can be a struggle. I'm not naive about that.
But, when we come down to it, we'd like to make the journey a little bit differently, if it's all the same to you. I'm positive we won't regret it.
All I can say is "ughhh!" You are going about it the absolutely correct way. We are the only ones of our siblings to have moved away from 'home'. We couldn't be happier. My wife and I have a saying, "Nothing matters but you and me (and also our son)" You gotta live your life the way you want, or you are living someone else's life. Who wants that?????
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with John's comment above, and with you! We recently retired to Belize, and we got that question over and over: "What are you going to dooooooo there?" I got very weary of it. We did the best we could at answering it, but truth be told, we aren't really doing some of the things I said we would, and we're doing some things I didn't even think of. It's amazing how quickly the day goes by when you have to go to five or six different shops just to buy groceries, and when your only vehicles are your bicycles, so you can only carry so much home. We socialize a lot more here and also enjoy running, blogging, photography, cooking, birdwatching, playing with and walking our dog, going out to eat, online Spanish lessons, and reading. Sometimes just sitting and enjoying the views is enough. People who don't get it just don't think outside the box. And yes, we wanted to meet locals and talk with them and get to know our new culture, not ONLY mix with other expats. Just like you. Go for it and enjoy! You have the perfect attitude and plans. You'll find plenty to do, and if you get bored, you'll figure out more to do to prevent that!
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